Fake fasting saga and my hardcore fiction

Disclaimer:  Fuck, shit, ass related words are used interchangeably without attaching any meaning to it. Even if you remove those words, it still gives the same meaning.

(Me and My bro taking a crazy walk on gulti land and talking about our routine stuff)

Me: hey wassup bro... How ya doin??

Bro: there is a serious problem bro... The beer consumption on earth dropped to  its all time low.

Me: have u heard of this fake fasting theory, strikes, destruction of public properties recently??  This could be a main reason as most of the liquor shops are forced to close.

Bro:  holy shit...I have absolutely no experience in handling such no-violence means bro...who the hell, doing all this?? Can u get me to those assholes..

(Suddenly me and  my  short tempered, non gulti bro, with his  favorite "Star Model SS .380 ACP pistol", bumped into one of the fake fasting asshole, Soon-To-Be-Livin, The-Rest-Of-His-Short-Ass-Life-ln-Agonizing-Pain, Hunger striker(HS), where he  and his friends having biryani, got from loacal foodchains, when he was on fucking fast to death at some hosptial(who cares about the name of hospital?).

Me: Hey, How you assholes doin' ?

(Everybody got scared and trying to hide their asses)

Bro: hey bro, lets get into the character.. Shoot his balls and take away all his male privileges before he becoming father to few other genetically defective, hormonally disabled child.

Me: Hey, keep chillin'. Looks like me and my bro caught you assholes at Dinner. Sorry about that.

HS: Hey don't hurt us....We got into this thing with best intentions...I mean, best for our own future...

(My angry brother shoots his biryani plate)

Bro: ohk.. go head...did I break your concentration ? You were saying something about "best intentions.".. go ahead...

HS:yes my dear friend, I wanted to split AP...the land of gulties... you know why??

Bro: shut up bitch... if u ask me one more fucking question...  I dare u... I double dare u ... I will shoot your  balls away..just fart out whatever u want.. ok??

HS: smaller states r easier to rob...every asshole like me, can get a chance to make money...infact can make huge money... look at my role model, father of all scammers, recently did mother of all scams... THE KODA.. Independent candidate… became CM... Robbed the state, still people loves him... elected his wife recently... cant u see that, how blind are our Indian Junta..

Me: thats ok....  but u bloody ... u r on fasting.. isn't it? Why the hell u having biryani?

HS: hey don't take it serious, how can my half paralyzed ass survive eleven days without food?

HS: This is just to create hype, this is just to mobilize uneducated junta... apart from this, we have offered few other exciting packages for suicides in the name of Telangana...

Bro: I don’t give a damn who is dying.. Who is dead for Andhra or telangana..... It freaks me out when half educated junta makes my inbox full, with huge 10MB colorful ppts and over hyped telangana, andhra videos...

HS: Yeaa, that’s a big surprise for me, I thought, these so called educated, junta know the truth...but this is such a shame to our education system man..Forget about my uneducated followers, but these nerds should know this simple fact that, the same telangana MLAs and MPs are there for last 20-25 years, they haven't done anything for their own constituency till now, except building their own empires ... Even after telangana becomes a new state.. The same assholes will come to the power and do nothing for their junta... look at me... i was there with TDP, I was there with NCP... I did nothing but supported whoever paid me more...

HS: I was union minister, still I did nothing, my own constituency(Mahaboob nagar, poorest ditrisct of AP) tops the illiteracy, tops in the poverty, still people elect me for one day gudumba and biryani... these bloody half educated, don't know this  simple fact that backwardness of their own region is Just because of their own leaders....I don’t know what the hell they do with telangana? What if I rename Andhrapradesh to telangana??

Bro: hey calm down dude; don't get overexcited, normally, if u r on real fasting, your ass would be dead as fuckin' fried chicken.

HS: yea I know that, and everybody out there thinking that, I am alive just because of our central Govt.'s chutiapaa..

Me: Hey bro, I can’t take this... these assholes, polluted twitter, facebook, orkut with stupid communities...and sending me hundreds of requests every day.

HS: they even made websites and collecting funds to buy biryani for our hunger strike core team...It is easy to blame others when u r not competent enough, that’s what I am doing, and the same with  some of our local employees, students and our own s/w engineers doing.

Bro: can you just shut up ... don't tell me this philosophical shit again ...and do remember my "dead.. fried ......chicken... dialog"  before going for another hunger strike.

Me:  Bro... This is more like my fist year HS(Humanities and social sciences) lecture....i think I should jump away from back door.

Bro:  me too bro... its even more boring than our first year lectures..