Translating from the Hell

 --- based on a true orkut conversation

Rambo (King of  Gult land in Hell,  now  on a quest to conquering near and around states like MH):

Yo man…i think its hight time to rape ur scrap book :)

Vipin( Exiled King of Delhi again in hell, now shifted his base to a small area in HN,Mumbai, along with few followers, copying Dalai lama’s concept of peace to get a Nobel peace prize):

Weekend?

Rambo:

yeaawwww.. babby

Vipin:

get a girlfriend dude ! :)

Rambo:

"boy! boy! What in the name of Jesus H. Antichrist are you talking about? What GF? U mean a thick layer face packed, Britney look like, fancy thing? Don’t u know about the dowry market in Gult land...or …don’t u know about the recent Tiger wood’s wrong holed saga??

Vipin:

hehe ! ..Good good guilty...you are talking like a true guilt king :-)...but anyways ...whats the rate in gultland for a IITian with three year work ex :D

Rambo:

A couple of kokas dude, u can become a venture capitalist for dozens of iitin startups..  dude....... but have u ever been to abroad... it doesn’t matter even its a African country or fucking US.. This cud b a added value to ur resume. Infact, I heard, gult aunts r shortlisting resumes with few key words like “US”, “Abroad”..

Vipin:

I am game dude....if you get a bid and deny it...just pass it along :D

Rambo:

Sure, sure, my friend… my old buddy....u get a lot in that case, as the bid-ask spreads are too high because of recession......but u get some fake mustaches first ... the amount of dowry u get in gult land  is proportional to the size of mustaches u have got ….(as rule of thumb… sar pe baal ho ya naho…but strictly mooche chayie).

Vipin:

:))))))))

I will get mustaches for sure dude...if that’s the price of illiquity one has to pay so be it !

I will grow mustache from telangana to ....Coastal Andhra.

Rambo:

Dude... R u trying to copy veerappan??... be careful..thats again a pain….they will declare u as most wanted ...

Rambo:

guilt police r smart in fake encounters u know... they will kill u first and then rename u as Killer veerappan’s successor “The Vipinappan”  .. As a proof... they will cover ur face, show ur mustaches and give some edited pics to India TV(the only broadcasted channel in HELL ) to prove u as real successor of Killer Veerappan,  in a live panel discussion chaired by Raakhi sawant along with Rahul Mahajan. I am sure Rakhi can prove it ON STAGE that u r not the veerappan’s successor but u r the real  Killer Veerappan.

Vipin:

Wholey Fish ! That can actually happen....lets buy india tv and then grow the mustache :P

Rambo:

yeaa... do that...otherwise those foolish mortals blame me for ur unusual mustaches growth.. ..

Rambo:

U seriously buy it man.. I want to host a panel discussion with their constipated moron team,I dont allow them to speak, i dont allow them to leave, I interrupt them. Bark at them(Imagine KK's face expressions from a blockbuster Movie "Deshdhrohi ). its like a epic win for me.

Vipin:

I got a better idea...in the panel discussion ..i will give you two beers before every commercial break and then we will kick some ass.

Oh wait.

Its India tv, you would not need the beers. :P

Rambo:

dude... dude.. don’t mess up like  Sonia ji and Chidambaram,  i told u .. be careful with those brain dead fellows ...they r fucking IndiaTV(the only broadcasted channel in HELL ), they treat our beer as, made in china energy drink, specially made for ULFA, to promote terrorism in india... then they start applying fuzzy logic to prove us terrorists...I don’t want to die as terrorist…

Rambo:

I never dreamed of dating virgins after my glorious death… I cant even think of going to heaven. I like overcrowded hell, with all Indian politicians around playing golf.

Rambo: 

Dude … u r insulting IndiaTV(the only broadcasted channel in HELL).  U HAVE to say “the only broadcasted channel in HELL” after u take the name “IndiaTV”(the only broadcasted channel in HELL) . Otherwise there will b a panel discussion on ur holiness.

Vipin:

Im sorry IndiaTV(the only broadcasted channel in HELL).  Don’t punish my holiness.